Turning Self-Criticism into An Asset

While I was writing this blog, I came across an article by S.A.R.K, which is worth sharing.

Inner Critic

The critical voices in our own heads are far more vicious than what we might hear from the outside. Our “inside critics” have intimate knowledge of us and can zero in on our weakest spots.

You might be told by the critics that you’re too fat, too old, too young, not intelligent enough, a quitter, not logical, prone to try too many things…
It’s all balderdash!

Some elements of these may be true, and it’s completely up to you how they affect you. Inside critics are really just trying to protect you.

You can:
Learn to dialogue with them.
Give them new jobs.
Turn them into allies.
You can also dismantle/exterminate them.”
-S.A.R.K. Creative Companion – How to Free Your Creative Spirit

It’s not that you stop having thoughts about how you view yourself, but you can choose to think better feeling thoughts about yourself.

Learn to treat yourself like a loving mother would treat a child or talk to yourself as if you were talking to a best friend. It will be a work in progress but press on.

Hugs,

Gina 

When we direct a lot of hostile energy toward the inner critic, we enter into a losing battle.
-Sharon Salzberg

The best way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Winston Churchill said it best – Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. The journey to success is not an easy one, it takes courage and determination.

There are many reasons why you may not be reaching your goals like, giving up too soon, or not having a strong enough action plan in place but one of the most common sneaky reasons is that we abandon what we truly desire.

You may question your abilities or feel foolish. You tell yourself things like I’m actually happy already I don’t need this added pressure. Self-doubt leaks into your heart and soul and despair sets in.

Imagine Thomas Edison or Steve Jobs saying, I’ve tried for too long and it’s still not working out so I’m throwing in the towel! Don’t give up on your dreams just because you haven’t figured it out just yet.

Best,

Gina

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.―Thomas Edison

Inaction breeds doubt – action breeds self-confidence

Self-confidence is a feeling in trusting your own abilities, judgement, qualities and power. Your personal experiences may have caused you to lose confidence in your abilities or have blown away your self-esteem.

A confident person:
• does what they believe is right
• they may ruffle the feathers of friends and family
• they take chances and are willing to make mistakes
• they are optimistic even in the face of adversity
• they accept their fear but still move toward their goals
• they can accept compliments and give them

Don’t confuse confidence with being arrogant, rebellious or spiteful as these feelings only make you feel worse and at best will provide temporary relief. Real self-confidence requires you to be honest with yourself and stick with it, even when it is uncomfortable.

Self-confidence is an important element in having a healthy and balanced life. Don’t wait for confidence before you do the thing you need to do. Do the thing and you will gain self-confidence.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.Helen Keller

Enjoy,

Gina

Say what you mean – Stop Whining, Start Living

I read and listen to a lot of personal transformation books. Some book titles are so direct that you don’t even need to read the book to get the message however reading them might prove to be useful.

Here are a few of my favorite titles.

There Is Nothing Wrong With You
Cheri Huber

What You Think of Me is None of My Business
Terry Cole-Whittaker

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
Robert Fulghum

It’s Called Work for a Reason
Larry Winget

Stop Whining, Start Living
Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Why Men Love Bitches
Sherry Argov

Sometimes I feel that we should communicate just as clearly and directly, it might save a few hours of trying to explain something that only requires a few sentences.

happy reading,

Gina

silence can be a powerful message

Boundaries can be defined as the limits you set with other people, what you consider acceptable behaviour. Generally, boundaries come from having a healthy dose of self-esteem and respect.

Without a clear sense of boundaries life can be challenging. You may find yourself being dominated, controlled or have the inability to make decisions for yourself. Feelings of guilt may arise when you listen to yourself instead of them.

To be in your power you must know what your values are. You have the right to say no or yes as you choose.

You can set healthy boundaries and only you can make sure that they are adhered to.

Gina

Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. Anonymous

be good to yourself

Criticism can be toxic to a relationship and to your self-esteem. Stop beating yourself up. How many times a day do you tell yourself that you’re too large, you’re not the right size, you’re not rich enough, you’re too young, you’re too old?

If you grew up with extremely critical parents, you may be sensitive to criticism and very critical yourself. Being critical about yourself and others may be an indication that you are rejecting a part of your self that you see as weak or flawed.

You can change your self-critical behaviour by praising yourself instead. You will get more work accomplished and be more motivated to reach for your goals.
More importantly is that you will feel better in the moment. Learn to shift your perception and reach for feeling more appreciation.

Spend 5 minutes a day affirming your positive qualities. It will feel awkward and weird at first but in time you will be able to interrupt your usual pattern of self-critical thoughts and replace them with kinder words.

Be good to yourself,

Gina

Words have a tremendous impact on all our lives. I know people who have lived lives of crippling insecurity because their parents spoke words of judgment, criticism, and failure to them on a regular basis. 
― Joyce Meyer

How to find a new job that you enjoy

Many people work in jobs or for people they dislike.

Quitting may not be the answer because most people need the money to pay their bills and have no savings to rely on. You may feel stuck and afraid of not knowing how to change things.

Here are some practical steps that work…

  1. Develop a compelling reason to do this job, for now. Consider what your life would be like if you had no income. That certainly would not feel better. So, this may be the leverage you need to keep you motivated to do this work, for now.
  2. While continuing to work at your current job, start immediately to search for a new job that is more in line with your values, dreams and overall joy.
  3. Make a list of the qualities you want in your new job. Such as location, salary, bonuses, benefits, company size, etc.
  4. Research the companies that appeal to you and send them your resume.
  5. Send your resume to employment agencies and be proactive with your employment search.

It can be discouraging when the job offers are not coming your way. I suggest adopting a healthy self-care routine, work-out, eat well, rest, play and spend time in nature.

Do what you love, as an example, if your goal is to be a fashion designer, create a space in home and time in which to design. This is very important. Do not stop doing what you love because you are not getting paid to do it.

Press on,

Gina Rizzo

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.

Steve Jobs

 

 

 

 

Why do we work so hard at failing?

It takes a lot of energy, time and resources to achieve business or personal goals.

For many, myself included it took me many years to understand that failure indicates that energy has been poured into the wrong channels. It takes a lot energy to fail.

Failure can come by devoting precious hours to time-killing pursuits, here are but a few;
• Complaining as a hobby
• Feeling too much self-importance about your goal
• Telling yourself “I don’t know what to do”
• Doing the same thing over and over
• Trying to do it all yourself – isolation
• Explaining yourself to others too often – seeking approval
• Not having a proper a plan of action
• Not following through on your plan

There is a simple, practical procedure which will start you in the right direction.

S.M.A.R.T is a goal setting tool that has been used for decades.

Specific – what is your specific goal or area for improvement

Measurable – have a way of measuring your progress

Assignable – can you do the steps or actions in evolved or do you need help from others

Realistic – what results can you realistically achieve, given the resources available to you

Time related – assign a time line on each task as to when you want it done by

Achieving goals requires many elements but there are some basic truths that have stood the test of time.

Have a plan, follow the plan, ask for help, model those who have succeeded and pray for Divine Inspiration.

If you would like more information please download my free e-book www.ginarizzo.ca

Hugs,

Gina Rizzo

Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.
Swami Sivananda

 

 

 

 

A Forgiveness Formula that Has Inspired Millions

Have you forgiven yourself or others? Are you holding on to what I call “silent resentment”? As we get older, our logical mind begins to understand that we need to forgive ourselves and/or others. We take the mature route and understand there isn’t any use in holding onto “old stuff”.

For many merely saying I forgive you isn’t enough because it isn’t the adult that’s having trouble letting go; it’s your inner child. You many find that you the adult and your inner child have conflicting beliefs that make it truly difficult to forgive and let go.

Holding on to resentment can cause your body and emotions, stress. It is healing to forgive on all levels, mind, body and spirit.

Let’s start now with these two processes.

1. Forgive 70 times 7
Get paper and pen.
Begin by focusing on the problem.
Now with sincere desire to forgive and let go of this situation, write your affirmation.
Here are some examples:

I forgive_______________. I let you go. I am free.
I am ready to forgive___________. I let you go. I am free and you are free.

You will write your forgiveness affirmation 70 times during the day, for 7 days.

It may feel weird at first, this is to be expected however press on. Do not write idle words, pour your love, and a true desire to release these emotions.

When you are done for the day and have completed your 70th affirmation sign your name.

When you have completed the full 7 days, rip up your paper and throw it away.

Forgiving others and yourself is a process, you can deal with it one layer at a time. There is no such thing as “getting it all done”. The best you can do is work on the emotions and issues as things come up.

2. A Forgiveness Formula that Has Inspired Millions
A formula by Dr. Catherine Ponder

Read, write or meditate on this affirmation treatment every day for at least 40 days.

I forgive everything, everyone, every experience, every memory of the past and present that needs forgiveness. I forgive positively everyone. I also forgive myself of past mistakes. God is love, and I am forgiven and governed by God’s love alone. God’s love is now adjusting my life. Realizing this, I abide in peace.

You can substitute God for Goddess, The Divine or The Universe or whatever feels true for you.

If you would more information please download a free copy of my book, at www.ginarizzo.ca .

You must forgive the people who hurt you so you can get out of prison. You’ll never be free until you do. Let go of those wrongs they’ve done to you. Get that bitterness out of your life. That’s the only way you’re going to truly be free. You will be amazed at what can happen in your life when you release all that poison.
~Joel Osteen

 

Resistance does not lead to change, acceptance does

Wise words by Cheri Huber, Zen teacher and writer.

It is a waste of time and energy to resist what is. Then why do we spend our lives in resistance? Because resistance maintains our sense of who we are by saying “no” to everything that doesn’t support our identity.

Identity is maintained by repetitious thoughts spoken by authoritarian voices telling endless stories about who we are and then judging us for not measuring up to some ill-defined standard.

Identity is maintained by holding the body configurations that produce emotional states that reinforce resistance.

Examples: clenched jaw, tensed shoulders

Identity is maintained by never examining the belief that “IF I FEEL THIS, I MUST DO THAT”.

The message is that resistance is necessary because life is threatening.

When resistance fails to produce the desired changes in our lives, we rarely let go, move into the present, and see other possibilities. We tighten more, tense hard, and attempt to control more completely.

But resistance does not lead to change. Acceptance leads to change.

by Cheri Huber

Zen Teacher and Writer

http://www.cherihuber.com

Hugs,

Gina