Turning Self-Criticism into An Asset

While I was writing this blog, I came across an article by S.A.R.K, which is worth sharing.

Inner Critic

The critical voices in our own heads are far more vicious than what we might hear from the outside. Our “inside critics” have intimate knowledge of us and can zero in on our weakest spots.

You might be told by the critics that you’re too fat, too old, too young, not intelligent enough, a quitter, not logical, prone to try too many things…
It’s all balderdash!

Some elements of these may be true, and it’s completely up to you how they affect you. Inside critics are really just trying to protect you.

You can:
Learn to dialogue with them.
Give them new jobs.
Turn them into allies.
You can also dismantle/exterminate them.”
-S.A.R.K. Creative Companion – How to Free Your Creative Spirit

It’s not that you stop having thoughts about how you view yourself, but you can choose to think better feeling thoughts about yourself.

Learn to treat yourself like a loving mother would treat a child or talk to yourself as if you were talking to a best friend. It will be a work in progress but press on.

Hugs,

Gina 

When we direct a lot of hostile energy toward the inner critic, we enter into a losing battle.
-Sharon Salzberg

Inaction breeds doubt – action breeds self-confidence

Self-confidence is a feeling in trusting your own abilities, judgement, qualities and power. Your personal experiences may have caused you to lose confidence in your abilities or have blown away your self-esteem.

A confident person:
• does what they believe is right
• they may ruffle the feathers of friends and family
• they take chances and are willing to make mistakes
• they are optimistic even in the face of adversity
• they accept their fear but still move toward their goals
• they can accept compliments and give them

Don’t confuse confidence with being arrogant, rebellious or spiteful as these feelings only make you feel worse and at best will provide temporary relief. Real self-confidence requires you to be honest with yourself and stick with it, even when it is uncomfortable.

Self-confidence is an important element in having a healthy and balanced life. Don’t wait for confidence before you do the thing you need to do. Do the thing and you will gain self-confidence.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.Helen Keller

Enjoy,

Gina

silence can be a powerful message

Boundaries can be defined as the limits you set with other people, what you consider acceptable behaviour. Generally, boundaries come from having a healthy dose of self-esteem and respect.

Without a clear sense of boundaries life can be challenging. You may find yourself being dominated, controlled or have the inability to make decisions for yourself. Feelings of guilt may arise when you listen to yourself instead of them.

To be in your power you must know what your values are. You have the right to say no or yes as you choose.

You can set healthy boundaries and only you can make sure that they are adhered to.

Gina

Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. Anonymous

Where are, you stuck in your life?

A lot has been written about the power of beliefs and with good reason: beliefs are very powerful. What is a belief? According to the dictionary a belief is:

An acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists; something one accepts as real or true; a firmly held opinion or conviction.

Many of us have been exposed to conflicting philosophies through family, friends, the media, society, religion and spirituality. The fact is we were instructed, trained and taught by family, school systems and the environment around us.

We were conditioned by our environment and surroundings.

The images and ideas communicated to us can be quite forceful on a subconscious level. Like most, you probably have some inherited beliefs that work and others that don’t and it would be too daunting a task to try to figure out where they all originated.

Therefore, how can you tell if you have a belief that doesn’t work for you? Ask yourself, where do I lose power in my life? With money, work, joy, health, friends, family? What problems keep appearing? Where are, you stuck in your life?

If you are often struggling; lacking in direction; or having difficulty achieving your goals and desires, you may find you are unconsciously or consciously carrying beliefs that aren’t working for you.

Face your challenges head on with the core belief that problems are just speed bumps on the road to your dreams. And from that place, when you take massive action-with an effective and proven strategy-you will rewrite your history.

Tony Robbins

Hugs

Gina

A Forgiveness Formula that Has Inspired Millions

Have you forgiven yourself or others? Are you holding on to what I call “silent resentment”? As we get older, our logical mind begins to understand that we need to forgive ourselves and/or others. We take the mature route and understand there isn’t any use in holding onto “old stuff”.

For many merely saying I forgive you isn’t enough because it isn’t the adult that’s having trouble letting go; it’s your inner child. You many find that you the adult and your inner child have conflicting beliefs that make it truly difficult to forgive and let go.

Holding on to resentment can cause your body and emotions, stress. It is healing to forgive on all levels, mind, body and spirit.

Let’s start now with these two processes.

1. Forgive 70 times 7
Get paper and pen.
Begin by focusing on the problem.
Now with sincere desire to forgive and let go of this situation, write your affirmation.
Here are some examples:

I forgive_______________. I let you go. I am free.
I am ready to forgive___________. I let you go. I am free and you are free.

You will write your forgiveness affirmation 70 times during the day, for 7 days.

It may feel weird at first, this is to be expected however press on. Do not write idle words, pour your love, and a true desire to release these emotions.

When you are done for the day and have completed your 70th affirmation sign your name.

When you have completed the full 7 days, rip up your paper and throw it away.

Forgiving others and yourself is a process, you can deal with it one layer at a time. There is no such thing as “getting it all done”. The best you can do is work on the emotions and issues as things come up.

2. A Forgiveness Formula that Has Inspired Millions
A formula by Dr. Catherine Ponder

Read, write or meditate on this affirmation treatment every day for at least 40 days.

I forgive everything, everyone, every experience, every memory of the past and present that needs forgiveness. I forgive positively everyone. I also forgive myself of past mistakes. God is love, and I am forgiven and governed by God’s love alone. God’s love is now adjusting my life. Realizing this, I abide in peace.

You can substitute God for Goddess, The Divine or The Universe or whatever feels true for you.

If you would more information please download a free copy of my book, at www.ginarizzo.ca .

You must forgive the people who hurt you so you can get out of prison. You’ll never be free until you do. Let go of those wrongs they’ve done to you. Get that bitterness out of your life. That’s the only way you’re going to truly be free. You will be amazed at what can happen in your life when you release all that poison.
~Joel Osteen

 

Resistance does not lead to change, acceptance does

Wise words by Cheri Huber, Zen teacher and writer.

It is a waste of time and energy to resist what is. Then why do we spend our lives in resistance? Because resistance maintains our sense of who we are by saying “no” to everything that doesn’t support our identity.

Identity is maintained by repetitious thoughts spoken by authoritarian voices telling endless stories about who we are and then judging us for not measuring up to some ill-defined standard.

Identity is maintained by holding the body configurations that produce emotional states that reinforce resistance.

Examples: clenched jaw, tensed shoulders

Identity is maintained by never examining the belief that “IF I FEEL THIS, I MUST DO THAT”.

The message is that resistance is necessary because life is threatening.

When resistance fails to produce the desired changes in our lives, we rarely let go, move into the present, and see other possibilities. We tighten more, tense hard, and attempt to control more completely.

But resistance does not lead to change. Acceptance leads to change.

by Cheri Huber

Zen Teacher and Writer

http://www.cherihuber.com

Hugs,

Gina

 

 

Gossip isn’t fun when it’s about you.

Gossip is one of those things that even well-meaning people get caught up in. I know from personal experience that sometimes I get seduced into gossiping. It always leaves me feeling bad about myself. I feel like a football just kicked me in the stomach.

Gossip can be away of connecting with others and forming a bond however this is a weak and shallow bond. Gossiping is also a form of jealousy and insecurity.

As I see it, it’s gossip if you are criticizing, blaming, accusing, belittling or repeating stories of ill intent.

Of course, you may speak of others and share your thoughts and feelings about another with others, just do your best to stay neutral and avoid deliberate hurtful conversation.

I like having an opinion and I enjoy sharing my thoughts with others however I do my best to ensure that I am not seduced by the peer pressure of the people I’m with.

Gossip isn’t so much fun when it’s about you. My advice, keep gossip to a minimum and do unto others as you would want done to you.

Hugs,

Gina

Be Impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don Miguel Ruiz

 

You can’t be a victim and expect to heal your past.

Life may not seem fair or you may have been born into less than desirable conditions and these events can stick with you for a long time.

What happens to many is that their stories begin to define them, so they make decisions and choices from a place of powerlessness and they embody the victim mentality.

There are perks to being in a victim mentality,

  • you get attention, love and validation
  • you don’t have to take responsibility for your life
  • you have the right to complain
  • others get to pity you
  • people are less likely to criticize you
  • others feel compelled to help you
  • you get to stay stuck in your drama

Focusing on your old story isn’t serving you and blaming others may provide temporary relief but it will also keep you stuck and it may lead you to feelings of powerlessness.

Forgiving those who have hurt or disappointed you isn’t an easy process but it does free you from being a victim. You may want to work with a therapist, spiritual counsellor or discover self-help material but it will take some time to shift your victim mindset.

The rewards of freeing yourself from the past are worth it. You are worth it.

For more help with this refer to my blogs

You Have the Power to Heal Your Life – Posted on October 25, 2016

Activate Your Power – Posted on November 15, 2016

Hugs,

Gina

Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don Miguel Ruiz