Turning Self-Criticism into An Asset

While I was writing this blog, I came across an article by S.A.R.K, which is worth sharing.

Inner Critic

The critical voices in our own heads are far more vicious than what we might hear from the outside. Our “inside critics” have intimate knowledge of us and can zero in on our weakest spots.

You might be told by the critics that you’re too fat, too old, too young, not intelligent enough, a quitter, not logical, prone to try too many things…
It’s all balderdash!

Some elements of these may be true, and it’s completely up to you how they affect you. Inside critics are really just trying to protect you.

You can:
Learn to dialogue with them.
Give them new jobs.
Turn them into allies.
You can also dismantle/exterminate them.”
-S.A.R.K. Creative Companion – How to Free Your Creative Spirit

It’s not that you stop having thoughts about how you view yourself, but you can choose to think better feeling thoughts about yourself.

Learn to treat yourself like a loving mother would treat a child or talk to yourself as if you were talking to a best friend. It will be a work in progress but press on.

Hugs,

Gina 

When we direct a lot of hostile energy toward the inner critic, we enter into a losing battle.
-Sharon Salzberg

The best way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Winston Churchill said it best – Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. The journey to success is not an easy one, it takes courage and determination.

There are many reasons why you may not be reaching your goals like, giving up too soon, or not having a strong enough action plan in place but one of the most common sneaky reasons is that we abandon what we truly desire.

You may question your abilities or feel foolish. You tell yourself things like I’m actually happy already I don’t need this added pressure. Self-doubt leaks into your heart and soul and despair sets in.

Imagine Thomas Edison or Steve Jobs saying, I’ve tried for too long and it’s still not working out so I’m throwing in the towel! Don’t give up on your dreams just because you haven’t figured it out just yet.

Best,

Gina

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.―Thomas Edison

Inaction breeds doubt – action breeds self-confidence

Self-confidence is a feeling in trusting your own abilities, judgement, qualities and power. Your personal experiences may have caused you to lose confidence in your abilities or have blown away your self-esteem.

A confident person:
• does what they believe is right
• they may ruffle the feathers of friends and family
• they take chances and are willing to make mistakes
• they are optimistic even in the face of adversity
• they accept their fear but still move toward their goals
• they can accept compliments and give them

Don’t confuse confidence with being arrogant, rebellious or spiteful as these feelings only make you feel worse and at best will provide temporary relief. Real self-confidence requires you to be honest with yourself and stick with it, even when it is uncomfortable.

Self-confidence is an important element in having a healthy and balanced life. Don’t wait for confidence before you do the thing you need to do. Do the thing and you will gain self-confidence.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.Helen Keller

Enjoy,

Gina

A woman can’t be happy unless she has personal boundaries

Boundaries can be defined as the limits you set with other people, what you consider acceptable behaviour towards you. Generally, boundaries come from having a healthy dose of self-esteem and respect.

Without a clear sense of boundaries life can be challenging. You may find yourself being dominated, controlled or have the inability to make decisions for yourself. Feelings of guilt may arise when you listen to yourself instead of them.

To be in your power you must know what your values are. You have the right to say no or yes as you choose. You can set healthy boundaries and only you can make sure that they are adhered to.

Choose to be yourself because there is nothing more beautiful than a woman who stands in their own self-acceptance.

Best,

Gina

A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.

– Eleanor Roosevelt

                                   

 

 

Say what you mean – Stop Whining, Start Living

I read and listen to a lot of personal transformation books. Some book titles are so direct that you don’t even need to read the book to get the message however reading them might prove to be useful.

Here are a few of my favorite titles.

There Is Nothing Wrong With You
Cheri Huber

What You Think of Me is None of My Business
Terry Cole-Whittaker

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
Robert Fulghum

It’s Called Work for a Reason
Larry Winget

Stop Whining, Start Living
Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Why Men Love Bitches
Sherry Argov

Sometimes I feel that we should communicate just as clearly and directly, it might save a few hours of trying to explain something that only requires a few sentences.

happy reading,

Gina

Don’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands

If you have tried and you think you have failed get up try again. Think how boring the other options are. Here are some wise words on living life with gusto.

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.
-James Allen

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
-Katharine Hepburn

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
-Maya Angelou

The most effective way to do it, is to do it.
-Amelia Earhart

If you don’t like being a doormat then get off the floor.
-Al Anon

Anything you want to ask a teacher, ask yourself, and wait for the answer in silence.
-Byron Katie

There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
-Nelson Mandela

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.
-Colette.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
-Coco Chanel

Best,
Gina

don’t be fooled by appearances or social media updates

Comparing ourselves to others is a natural response and we do it automatically. Comparing ourselves with others is unfair because we are comparing our worst parts with what you think are their best parts.

When you look at other people you don’t always see the whole picture. Don’t be fooled by their appearance or social media updates. We easily forget that we really don’t always know what others are going through.

Most people have had their share of messes, mistakes and shame and all of these things have been a catalyst to becoming a wiser and better you. When you are in the depths of comparison, ask yourself what am I actually feeling?

Is comparison masking as jealousy or feelings of inadequacy?

Comparing yourself only serves a purpose when it inspires you to be something more. Be proud of yourself and how far you’ve come.

Comparison is the death of joy.
― Mark Twain

silence can be a powerful message

Boundaries can be defined as the limits you set with other people, what you consider acceptable behaviour. Generally, boundaries come from having a healthy dose of self-esteem and respect.

Without a clear sense of boundaries life can be challenging. You may find yourself being dominated, controlled or have the inability to make decisions for yourself. Feelings of guilt may arise when you listen to yourself instead of them.

To be in your power you must know what your values are. You have the right to say no or yes as you choose.

You can set healthy boundaries and only you can make sure that they are adhered to.

Gina

Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. Anonymous

be good to yourself

Criticism can be toxic to a relationship and to your self-esteem. Stop beating yourself up. How many times a day do you tell yourself that you’re too large, you’re not the right size, you’re not rich enough, you’re too young, you’re too old?

If you grew up with extremely critical parents, you may be sensitive to criticism and very critical yourself. Being critical about yourself and others may be an indication that you are rejecting a part of your self that you see as weak or flawed.

You can change your self-critical behaviour by praising yourself instead. You will get more work accomplished and be more motivated to reach for your goals.
More importantly is that you will feel better in the moment. Learn to shift your perception and reach for feeling more appreciation.

Spend 5 minutes a day affirming your positive qualities. It will feel awkward and weird at first but in time you will be able to interrupt your usual pattern of self-critical thoughts and replace them with kinder words.

Be good to yourself,

Gina

Words have a tremendous impact on all our lives. I know people who have lived lives of crippling insecurity because their parents spoke words of judgment, criticism, and failure to them on a regular basis. 
― Joyce Meyer

telling the truth is about feeling good in your own skin, unencumbered and free

You are born and hard-wired with personal power, self-worth and inner guidance. Owning your personal power is the ability, to think, feel and act as you wish to. It is self-determination, confidence and a deep and an inner strength. It enables you to live your truth no matter how many other forces around you may want to stop you.

Many women are afraid to embrace and own their power because they feel they may be negatively judged or belittled for wanting to change. It’s true you might lose family and friends who are jealous that you are gaining confidence but then you will naturally want to surround yourself with liked minded people.

So, what does it feel like when you are losing your power? It may sound like a silly question but many women have not had the experience of being in their own power. It feels foreign and unfamiliar. Yet I tell you that you are equipped and born to feel and live with your own power. It’s natural as sunshine and yellow tulips.

Here are a few signs that you are failing to own your personal power:

Feelings of inferiority and self-doubt
tolerating people and things that drain you
You want validation or approval from others
Allowing others to control your decisions
You are a people pleaser
Feeling like a victim
Feelings of guilt of doing something for yourself
Difficulty in expressing your thoughts
Excepting abuse of any kind

You can reclaim your personal power by living your truth. This will be the beginning of your breakthrough. There may be a point in your life where you feel you no longer can pretend to be someone you are not.

Here are some signs that you confirm that you are moving in the right direction. You may find you are saying no or yes when you mean it. You will start to pay attention to your intuition. You may feel signs of relief when you start to take small steps towards what you really want to say, do or be. You won’t be making excuses as to why you can’t but you will start to look and find ways to make it happen.

Telling the truth is about feeling good in your own skin, unencumbered, free, and having the life you want to live.
Deborah King

Hugs,